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Droning on...and on...and
on...and on...and on... |
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Lies, Lies, and more damned
lies... |
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HAMISH DIXON'S DIARY |
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Monday, April 05, 2004
A QUASI RETURN TO THE LAND OF THE LIVING
It seems I was deluded when I thought that I would be controlling my own medication. Instead a couple of burly lads from the clinic drop by twice a day and shove a lengthy needle into the Dixonian posterior, after which I collapse into a fitful doze for a couple of hours, before waking and smiling hazily on the world. Perhaps this was for the best, but the dose was at first so strong that I was left devoid of any desire whatsoever to communicate my innermost thoughts to my diary. The dose has now been reduced.
I've tried to return to work, but it has been difficult. People expect me to behave in a particular way, and I'm clearly disappointing them. Vinny came to see me yesterday, and asked for my forgiveness for betraying my trust and cutting off my finger. I'd literally forgotten all about the episode, although when I looked I did see that I had a finger missing. I forgave him, of course, but I could see that he was disappointed that I didn't rant and rave. He looked genuinely concerned. Maybe it was when I told him that I was at peace with the world and couldn't imagine having any future use for his services that he really became upset. Frankly, I can't remember any longer.
This morning I made some calls to tenants who were behind on their rent, and they were obviously puzzled when I suggested ways in which they could pay off their arrears over time. Chereez, my new assistant, suggested I go home and leave the heavy lifting to the help.
The good news in all of this is that the Dixon equipment is back to its former expansive glory. What a magnificent specimen of manhood I am, I must say. I'd quite forgotten. Unfortunately I've also, apparently, forgotten what to do with it, so I am confined to bouts of self-admiration in front of the mirror. The children are back at home and this morning Rory stumbled in and found me posed stark naked in a state of rigidly swollen splendor. He let out a little yelp and has been keeping his distance ever since.
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and on...and on...and on...and on
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