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Droning on...and on...and
on...and on...and on... |
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Lies, Lies, and more damned
lies... |
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HAMISH DIXON'S DIARY |
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Wednesday, March 24, 2004
THE CHILDREN ARE GONE
The weekend was a nightmare of family noncommunication, but it was an interlude of joy in comparison to Monday, when Social Services, in the form of a pallid skinny little man with an outer borough accent, accompanied by three burly men and one bulbous women in blue polyester uniforms, came to take away the children.
"Yo all cant go leddin yo dawda go suckin every peessa meat come her way, man" one of them said, "then write abad it on the innerned. Ain't right, man. What sorta asshole are you, anyways? Just cos you rich you think you can geddawaywidit?"
Well, I wasn't going to stand for that sort of talk from a servant of the state, and I quickly called Mervyn Anthracnose, my attorney.
"Hamish," he said, "I can deal with your problems when you illegally cut off the heat and hot water to little old ladies in the middle of winter, but I know nothing about how to protect you from the child-snatching bureaucracy. You need a family lawyer."
While I was searching the phone book for some guy called Raul or Raoul or whatever, a friend called from England to say that Magnus Sidewinder had published a story in the Smudge about oral sex in New York private schools, and that Alison Dixon had been his primary example. It seems that behind my back Alison gave the vile Sidewinder an extremely graphic interview, including a technical discussion of the activity in question. It can only be a matter of time before the Post picks the story up, I'm afraid.
The long and the short of it was that they took away the children and we aren't allowed to see them. Dolores won't even look at me. She's scared to death about what might happen to Rory with all those other boys.
"He'll love it," I said. "He was bursting through the uppers of his loafers anyway. Think of it as free boarding school, which was where they were both going to have to end up anyway."
A call came in from the Pierre yesterday to say that I was behind on the monthly charge for the apartment. I told them that I had put the place on the market and they could have the money out of the proceeds. Meanwhile they had my permission to withdraw all services. That'll show Wanda I mean business.
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and on...and on...and on...and on
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